R U OK? Day is coming up on Thursday 12 September and while it may seem easy, sometimes asking "are you okay" can feel a little tough. Luckily, it's okay to not know all the answers, and we're here to break down all the ways you can let someone know that you're thinking about them.
Before you ask, it’s important to make sure:
- you're in a good headspace
- you're ready to actively listen and engage
- the environment is safe, supportive and private
- you're realistic about how you can help (don't put yourself in any harmful situation)
- you understand that they may not be ready to talk about their current mental state or may become upset. Remind them that there is no pressure, and you will be there when they need help.
How to ask "are you okay?"
If you've noticed someone you know is acting a little differently or just feel like you should check in, trust that gut instinct and take the time to ask them, 'are you OK?'.
Advice below is provided by the R U OK? Day website.
1. Ask the question.
- Be relaxed.
- Help them open up by asking questions like "What's been happening?"
- Mention specific things that have made you concerned for them, like "I've noticed that you seem really tired recently" or "You seem less chatty than usual. How are you going?"
- If they push back or seem reluctant, don’t criticise or push. Tell them you’re concerned and that you're here for them.
2. Listen without judgement
- Take what they say seriously and don’t interrupt or rush the conversation.
- Don’t judge their experience or reactions but acknowledge things are tough for them.
- If they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence.
- Show you’ve listened by repeating back (in your own words) what you’ve heard and ask them if you’ve understood them properly.
3. Encourage appropriate action
- You could ask: “What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?” or “When I was going through a difficult time I tried this … You might find it useful too”
If they’ve been feeling really down, encourage them to see a health professional. This could include the UTS Counselling Service.
If you’re on campus and are worried about their safety or anybody else’s, contact UTS Security (dial 6 from a campus phone or 1800 249 559 from any phone) and ask them to contact emergency services.
4. Check in
- Stay in touch with them and if you feel its appropriate, reach out to them again a little later for a check-in. You could open the conversation again by saying something like "I've been thinking about you and wanted to know how things were going?".
Make sure you ask yourself if you're okay as well.
You and your own mental wellbeing are just as important as those around you. Taking on these bigger conversations with people will overwhelming if you yourself need support. It's more than okay to take a step back and do the things you need to make yourself feel better and if you need extra support at university there are many people you can go to.
Our wonderful wellbeing representatives have compiled a list of services and resources for you to go through whenever you need to.
How to get involved on campus:
Looking for a opportunity to join a safe space, gather some good vibes and grab some treats with friends? Join us in celebrating Wellbeing Week on campus with a entire week of events to get involved in.